LIVING
The announcer was announcing the arrival of my train. i was standing on the edge of the platform & I peered in the direction of the expected arrival. The trains hooting announced its arrival. A sigh escaped me. I had just finished my last day at work and i was on my way home
HOME. I thought that this would be redemption, joy, happiness, bliss ... how wrong i was. The only thing i now felt was pain, a sense of loss .... a sense of loneliness, a void gnawing at my heart. I dreaded that i had made a mistake. I wanted time to rewind, wishing that this moment had never arrived, wishing i could get another chance. But would i get it right then ??? ... SIGHHHH
It was not a sigh of happiness,at the train being only an hour late, but that of despair and agony. Why was life like this ?? WHY ?? I was leaving behind three years of my life. Three years that taught me what 22 yrs before that couldnt.The images of my life flashed before me.
The joy, the pain, the happiness, the agony, ... the whole gamut of my emotions were laid bare by these fleeting images. And i desperately tried to hang onto them, dreading even to blink, lest i loose these precious
glimpses. There i was staring into space. But it was like holding onto sand and clasping the fist.
Suddenly a flurry of activity broke out around me, jolting me into reality. Other passengers and coolies got ready to embark the approaching train. Everyone strode around with a purpose. I was the only person unsure. Unsure whether i had done the right thing, unsure about the future and what it had in store, unsure whether i could handle it all. I faltered.
The hooting grew louder and the train moved onto the platform. Its somberness & girth dwarfing me. Challenging me to board it, daring me, enticing me. Suddenly a coolie bumped into me, the spell was broken, i
shook myself and reminded myself - " nothing is permanent but change" So i decided to take up the challenge, and i boarded the train. I decided to LIVE
Life in its myriad form is a gamut of images, emotions, people and experiences that each of us go through. I decided then, To live life as it is, not worry about what was and what will be, but live what is. I decided
to move on and let bygones be bygones. May be this is what LIVING is all about .. i will never know however hard i try.
And someday i will know whether i have done the right thing,but i will have no regrets, for i have decided to LIVE and i guess thats what LIFE is for.
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