Procrastination

pro·cras·ti·nate (pr -kr s t -n t , pr -) - To put off doing something, especially out of habitual laziness

Procrastination, that’s something we all have done, at some point in our life, some more regularly than others. But me, I have filtered it down and refined it into an art form. Like the old adage goes, why do something today, that can be done tomorrow. Why?

It’s such a waste of effort and time to do things. You could spend your time more productively sleeping, eating, watching TV or just putting on weight. There are so many pleasures to be had, so why exert yourself? Man is a creature of habit, and I am especially so, and since bad habits are easier to pick up and maintain, I love them even more. They say “Ignorance is Bliss” but I believe laziness should be also included. What better bliss can be had?

I feel procrastination feeds into the Hedonistic philosophy of mine. Hedonism subscribes to the ideology "whatever causes pleasure is right” and I totally agree I must add. Why do something that causes pain and grief? Why not avoid the mundane and the boring chores of life? I say pleasure is the highest good. You can’t fight that philosophy can you? When you cant be perfect why try? Why put in the effort and fail? Avoid the pitfalls and the effort as well.

Among the different types of procrastinator, I am cast in the mould of “the relaxed, pleasure seeking procrastinator”. A self-indulgent procrastinator, who feels that gain, is not worth the pain. Denis Waitley hit the point when he said, “Procrastination is the fear of success... Because success is heavy, it carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the "someday I'll" philosophy”. How true.

When I look back at 27 years of what has been my life so far, I can see phases with insanely frenetic activities and similarly, phases with mind numbing inactivity. As I approach 30, not with great gusto I must add, I see myself as a lazy slob, with no clear aim and direction. A rudderless boat, floating downstream pulled hither and thither with no shore in sight. There is a saying by Henri Estienne which I think is apt “If youth but knew; if age but could”. Without knowing, I did a lot, and now when I know, I just don’t want to. The cruel irony doesn’t escape me, it stares me in the eye, it mocks me, defies me & denies me and worst of all, I can’t seem to do anything.

It’s been more than a year since I last posted a blog, all along blaming my busy schedule and lack of motivation to write. I have lost touch with numerous friends & family, due to my inability to email or call. I have lost my enthusiasm to achieve, work seems so laborious, in short I have lost my ability to enjoy the simple things in life. Or as my friend would say, I have lost my “MOJO”. I guess it’s the bane of my life, this inane habit, this self perfected art-form that has so innocuously taken control over me. My hedonistic habits never once led me to think I was procrastinating. In my eagerness to maximize short term gains I have lost my long term happiness.

This blog has been a Catharsis for me. I wanted to see in black and white the tragedy of my life. I wanted to see the irony, accept my fault and move on. But more importantly I wanted to write again. I wanted to cleanse my system and restart and write anything, something. It might appeal to most and appears disjointed at best, but I am happy to be writing. I am happy to be doing something other than procrastinating for once.

Self realization, it’s said, is half the battle won, so hopefully I am on the mend. I want more in life than just being a slob. I want do more than just procrastinate. They say “Seek and you shall find”, I am going to start my journey all over again.